Social Exchange Theory

   Rewards, Rewards, Rewards 

   As we all know from experience each and every one of our relationships involves a little give and a little take.  As individuals we crave rewards in our lives.  We gain these rewards by making decisions that result in happiness.  Everyone has different standards of 'rewards' and everyones standards can change with time.  All relationships come with both rewards and costs.  When we first enter into new relationships we weigh out the rewards and costs for the short term, and typically the long term as well.  Many people ask themselves if there is a chance of having a better relationship with someone else or if this is the relationship they deserve.  I want to discuss the Social Exchange Theory in relation to the beginning of a relationship using my husband and I as an example.

     I am from America and he is from England... we met while he was studying abroad at the University of Florida.  The initial thought for us both was basically is it worth it to start a relationship together knowing that after that school year he would have to return back to England (as he has one year left of school at his English university.)  We had to think if the rewards of our relationship would outweigh this particular negative cost of it.  Another thing that crossed my mind was if the relationship would be 'one way'.  I worried that when he returned to England there was a chance that I would put in all of the effort of keeping the relationship alive and making the plans to see each other (however I was wrong!).  We also had to take into account that at the end of his stay at UF would we continue our relationship in two different countries or would we just end it to save the heartache?  Would it have been a waste of a year?  We had to determine the the pros and cons of starting our relationship before we got too serious... and luckily we both decided the pros outweighed the cons and we made it official!  Here we are now as newlyweds both putting in the effort and love our relationship needs to succeed.  We have both had to make sacrifices throughout our relationship: being apart in two different countries with a five hour time difference, keeping the spark alive through the phone and video chatting, to now being in England away from friends and family, but I wouldn't want to be anywhere else.   In our unique situation the rewards of our relationship have outweighed the costs and now we are one happily married couple! 

(Our first picture together in the Swamp the week we met!)

(Every time I'm in America he randomly sends me sunflowers- my favorite! to surprise me!)