Blog 13

Take a few minutes and watch this video:

Adoption is very close to my heart, as I was adopted myself.  There are SO many children out there that in need of a loving forever home.... so what's all the fuss from so many people about having issues with lesbian and gay couples adopting?  As we learned in this weeks lesson, children who are raised by lesbian or gay parents are NO different from children who are raised in heterosexual homes.   I came across this video clip of an interview with a lesbian couple, who already has a son and are on the waiting list for a new baby girl or boy!  The ladies in the video say that they have been extremely lucky throughout their whole relationship an through the decisions to have children together... they report having no hostility.  Why can't all lesbian and gay couples be treated with the same respect?  It takes a big heart to adopt a child.  The couple in this interview say that their motivation comes from having a family where they can offer something for a child and give them a loving home to grow up in.  Isn't that what it's all about?  Providing for and loving a child in a healthy home for the rest of their life?  So props to the community where this couple and their family live for being SO accepting of their love and their decisions.

Blog #12

I did not grow up being taught to see the color of people's skin.  It still bothers me to this day when people are judged simply because of what color their skin is.
My best friend is half white and half Mexican.  She has always dated black men, and has always been treated differently because of it.  We are from a very small southern town, where many people still uphold old southern beliefs.  My friend has been called countless names because of her past dating history...to black men.  As I pointed out she is half white and half Mexican...  If she dated a white man would she be labeled?  What if she dated a Mexican man?
I have another close friend who is black.  Everytime I have introduced her to new people they respond with "..but she's so 'White'."  (talking about the way she acts,speaks,dresses,etc.)  But what is 'white'?  and, Why is she acting in some stereotype of skin color?  Why can't she just be identified as her?

(My two amazing friends!)

I don't think this 'belief' that white women should only date white men or Asian women should only date Asian men, etc., will ever be okay with me.  The color of someone's skin should not be judged or discriminated against.  My hope is that one day everyone will take off their blinders, and only see people for who they are, who they fall in love with... not the color of their skin.

Conflict

Conflict can arise from anything at anytime between anyone!

It's one of those things that NOBODY likes, but it CAN'T be avoided.... However... it can be 'fixed'!
There are many different ways to come to some type of conclusion over conflict including negotiation, compromising, and simply talking it out.  It is very important for communication to remain open and both parties to remain calm.
In the family... it is important for Mom and Dad to settle their conflicts in a positive manner that sets a good example for their children.  Yelling and fighting may be how parents feel like dealing with conflict, but what kind of lesson does that teach the youngins?
In the work place ... it is important for colleagues to recognize that when they are resolving issues with other employees or even a boss that they are in the work place and rules need to be followed.
In any situation where conflict occurs it should be dealt with in an adult-like manner while anyone and everyone involved remains open and listens to all sides.
Solving a conflict can be a very simple task if it is gone about in the right way.


(Photo found on:  http://gayletabor.com/archives/are-your-conflicted-6-steps-to-conflict-resolution/)

Feminist Theory

Empowerment

After this weeks lecture, readings, and videos I have decided to focus this blog post on the importance of empowerment that was emphasized in both our class lecture and the lecture given by Whitney Shadowens.  Dr. Smith told us in our weekly lecture that the feminist theory is: "An analysis of women's subordination for the purpose of finding out how to change, specifically to empower women."  Whitney Shadowens made a point of how important it is for women to gain empowerment when dealing with IPV.  She told us women who are victims of IPV don't need to be told one way to fix their problems, but they need to be able to go to a safe place to talk about what they are going through and have someone listen, without giving their 'two cents'.  These victims need to given different options of changing their situation and inevitably need to choose which method works best for their individual experience.
Each and every woman is different so it is important to realize that no two women will be going through the exact victimization of IPV.  Whitney also listed different reasons of why women do not leave their abusive relationships.  Some reasons were: shame, fear, shared children, denial, and lack of financial resources.  Depending on the reason for staying, each woman will handle her situation differently.  My step-sister was unfortunately a victim of domestic violence.  She wanted to leave but two reasons kept her in the relationship.... 1) She was fearful of her safety and what might happen if she just decided to leave one day.  2)  She and her then husband have three kids together.  At the time two of their children had moved out for college and the third was a Senior in high school, still living at home.  She feared that uprooting her son or leaving her son would interfere with his final year in high school and his future in college.  She feared that her family would fall apart.  She feared that her sons might blame her for everything.
After counseling and having someone there to listen to her and give her many different options she finally gained the courage to leave her situation.  All three of her sons are in college or working now, and she is happily living on her own with no fear, no shame, and no guilt to bear every day.

(photo retrieved from: http://transgenderlawcenter.org/archives/9392)